Happy New Year!!!
I am so glad to be a part of this year and much more for me, my wedding anniversary is on the 1st of January. So every year as people all over the world screams “HAPPY NEW YEAR” I and my husband hugs and welcome ourselves to a HAPPY NEW MARRIAGE!
This year, we marked 10years..Whoa! We actually went back to the church where we got married ten years ago to have a renewal of our marriage vows…its just like yesterday!
The truth is that…many things are contending with our marriages, everyday. It actually takes efforts to keep your marriage refreshed and enjoyable but it is possible and necessary for a fulfilling life. A happy marriage is not a gift but the result of hard work and the elimination of marriage contenders.
I have been able to pin-down a number of such contenders… EGO, MONEY, INLAWS, CAREERS, FRIENDS, CHILDREN etc and we will look at them together as a series.
Starting with ‘EGO’,
According to Oxford dictionary, ‘ego’ refers to a person’s sense of self esteem or self importance. It has been established to have two variants, that is EGOISM and EGOTISM. While Egoism refers to a person’s self motivation or goal orientated action, Egotism on the other hand is the psychological over-valuation of a person’s self importance or action.
Either way, you cannot have your marriage and your ego at the same time. If your marriage is to succeed then your ego has to go, as ego has been labelled to be a major marriage-killer. You can either be ‘correct’ always or be married, both doesn’t come on the same plate. Many marriages had broken down just because of one spouse insisting on being correct all the time…this is ‘ego’ at work. Why cant you be wrong or lose an argument, if just to win your spouse and keep your marriage healthy?
Do you need to prove that you are the man in the marriage?… of course who carry the ‘penis.
Do you need to show that you earn more money or has more connections?… the tides can always change.
Do you need to insist on your own way, to prove…what exactly?
Ego may be useful in other areas of your life but would not work to keep your marriage intact. You will lose out at the end. You are different from your spouse and even when you became one in marriage you still differ from one another. Perspective, attitude and responses would still differ so please do not look down on any of your spouse’s short comings…it was all there when you met and fell in love.
As it may be, submit to one another in love, support one another and EGO will find no place in your home.
Happy New Year! Happy New Marriage!!
Timmy
The Counselor 