Hello friends, its time to discuss about another marriage contender…MONEY.
I came across a caption recently tagged ‘..are you financially compactible?’ and it took me several days pondering on its implied message.
Many couples had gone to the divorce courts for irreconcilable difference. Couples had come in for counselling sessions with me, screaming “… we are not compactible”. They say things like, “…I don’t understand my husband again”, “…my wife had changed”. “…its like am married to a stranger”.
When did two lovers become strangers? How did two ‘Kori-kosun’ (a Yoruba-Nigerian word for lovers who had sleepless nights for each other) began to despise each other’s presence? How did they moved from sharing to holding back? How did competition, envy and bitterness set in? How? really How?
Money Differences, you wonder? 
Money is a strong contender for your marriage! Many had married without giving full thought to their money differences.
Yes, money differences! Just the same way couples differ by gender, opinion, background and experiences so they differ in their approach and attitude towards money. Unfortunately, while love covers up for many several differences, money differences often seems to have a thick skin in marriage. One person is a spend strife and the other a saver. One a generous giver, the other a deliberate giver. One a stick-to-the -list shopper, the other a free-lancer. One an investment guru, the other a prudent saver. How do we reconcile these?
Couples needs to sit and agree on their money differences. They need not deny it but acknowledge their they differ in their money out-look. When they know this, then they begin to leverage on the strengths of each differences and focus on building up on the weakness of each spouse financially.They begin to know that its not about their individuality but their togetherness.
It then becomes a commitment to ‘our’ money and not ‘my’ money or ‘your’ money. 
‘My money’ syndrome is a marriage killer. Yes, many couples had come asking about keeping joint accounts and their various money challenges pointing accusing fingers at one spouse or the other. Wives talk about their husband burrowing from them and not refunding. Men hides salary details from their wives and women guides their own accounts jealousy. Men had been accused of taking all from their wives and spending at will, without contributing to home up-keep and wives had been accused of stealing from their husband! Yes, stealing…
Really, can you steal what is yours? Do not let money turn your marriage into a living hell. Do not become a slave to financial incompatibility. Be willing to give yourself and your all into your marriage. No matter who is working or who is bringing what into the marriage, pool your resources together, plan together and spend together. Do not let money come in between you… it is strong enough to break your home and also strong enough to bind you together.
Let there be a willingness to sacrifice and trust your spouse to have your best interest at heart. Let no spouse make a major financial commitment or purchase without the consent of the other, let no one oppress his/her partner with the weigh of their pay cheque. It is material and not lasting. It can be available today and gone tomorrow, don’t strain your marriage for it.
Successful marriages had learn how to ernes their wealth and make good use of each spouse financial strengths and weakness. They have been able to identify MONEY’s role in their marriage and they have learnt to put it in its place.
You can learn to do same too. No matter how bad things are now, there is hope for your marriage!
If you find this article useful, please share with friends and families on your various social platforms as we may together help to save many marriages from these contenders. I also would like to know what you think regarding money and marriage, please take a moment to comment before you leave this page.
Happy New Year! Happy New Marriage!!
The Counselor 