Archive | March 2015

How Do You Feel about You?

Do you love you? Are you proud of yourself?

Have you considered what feeds your shyness, the feeling of inadequacies, the struggle to prove yourself? Low self esteem?

Do you really want to know?

It’s how you feel about YOU. Yes! YOU!  Wondering how you know how you feel about YOU, feeds your shyness, your timidity, feeling of inadequacies, then take a pointer-check your body language. It’s a pointer to YOU!

Really isn’t it amazing to know that as your body language informs other people about you, it also informs your mind about you.

Image result for picture of power poseOf course, yes! Social psychologists had helped proved this, to be true. Your body language can define how people see you and also how you feel about you. It communicates to you about you. It can actually change how you feel about yourself.

Look at this;

Image result for picture of power poseWhat are you afraid of? What insecurities are holding you down? What negative body language are you communicating?

The body languages you display educate your mind on how you feel about you. You go around  with a negative body pose like lowered head, folded hands, hands to the neck etc and your mind is informed to see all your in adequacies…even those that do not exist!

You can actually inform your mind otherwise that is, consciously practise positive body language and you will end up feeling good about You! …or like Amy Cuddy puts it ‘…fake it till it becomes you and you become it’

You just need to open up and stretch yourself.. yes! I mean stretch… expand your body! Take space with your arms and body…experience that release within you and then place your arms akimbo on either side s of your hips and spread out your legs a bit.

Whoa! That’s it… the power pose.

It’s established that there are two main ‘Power Poses’ the low pose and the high pose.

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Stop folding yourself, bending your head, arms folded across your chest. Stop protecting ‘YOU’.  It’s the low power pose.

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Release you body and you will be releasing yourself!

Image result for picture of power poseHigh Power Pose! You are going to love you!

Practise releasing your body for just about 2 minutes daily and you end up feeling cool with yourself. You will also be ridding yourself of stress and anxieties. Amazingly, other people would soon catch up with your groove and begin to just love you for you.

Image result for picture of power poseHaa..Haa …That’s it !

Hurting Love

Many unfortunately are confused about loved that they do not know any more the difference between love and pain, it had become synonymous.

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You have been brutalized, abused and dehumanized in the name of love.  You had sacrificed, given and had all taken from you in the name of love.

You cannot recognize yourself. You have lost your identity and your person. You no longer know you!

Was it a spouse? or your lover?

Your friend? or your sibling?

Your teacher? or your parent?

or was it a culture? or tradition? a people you love?

You are not ALONE!

Many of us had been hurt at one time or other by the people and/or things we hold dear… we had been mis-informed about what love truly is. Yet it doesn’t mean that PAIN and LOVE are the same. Someone we love will definitely hurt us at some point but we need to chose either the pain or the person. To hold on or to let go.

When we embark on hurting those who hurts us, we end up becoming like them. When you allow the pain of the hurt to consume you then you will no longer know the difference between LOVE and PAIN. They are not the same!

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Your hurt-experience might be the comfort someone else needs. Don’t keep it to yourself, then its going to consume you, rather give yourself to helping others through their hurting experience.

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That makes the difference!

Does Love Exist?

Happy new month!

We just celebrated LOVE in February and now its the month of March and we are marching forward

Talking about LOVE, takes me down memory lane…

A young girl full of life and energy, until it was all stolen…stolen innocence, stolen childhood, stolen happiness. It all started few days after my 12th birthday with a meeting involving my uncles, my aunties, my grandparents, other relatives and my mum. They had got wind of  an assumed love-letter exchanged between me and my grannies neighbour’s son. No one asked me to clarify nor confirm. They were all disappointed in me and didn’t mince words to express their feelings… I can still remember their voices ‘You are a useless girl, a slut for all I care’ that’s my uncle… ‘at this tender age of 12, you are already writing love letter, what do you know about love? I know you are just good for nothing? I think that’s my grannies words…..’how many abortions have you had?’ that’s my mum shaking the life out of me insisting I confess. I kept sobbing and screaming ‘its all a lie, its a mix up’ but no one was listening.

I crept into bed that night with their voices all over my head. My eyes were swollen. My head was aching. I was broken. I was tired.My father was dead.

Two days later, I had slept off on the counch watching the television when suddenly I felt hands over my body, I woke up with a jerk, scrambled for my skirt which was parted down and with fear and terror ran for my room. I lost my sleep that night and till cock crow, I remember holding myself in a tight embrace sitting on the ground huddled to one side of my bed. I saw him. I saw it. Big and dark. It was one of my relatives-my guardian, a chief-speaker at my condemnatory family meeting.

I couldn’t fathom what had happened until the next days and the next nights when the cycle of my sexual torture began and my abuser will always say ‘its because I love you’. With it also began my quest for love and acceptance.

For several years, my interpretation of ‘I love you’ was synonymous to ‘I want your body’. I dived into so many things to convince my self of my interpretation yet deep within, I knew there is another love that isn’t based on what I have to give but it just was out of reach. I sought for it continuously but didn’t find it until it found me.

Yes, you heard me right…LOVE found me! (That’s a story for next time)

Gradually we are moving towards the celebration of the utmost of LOVE…Easter, when a man laid down His life for His friends and I would want you to ask yourself genuinely  what does love means to you?

How do you interpret love?

Do you think LOVE really exists?